Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in oedstero's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, November 17th, 2004
8:55 pm	random thoughts so... zackie's 2nd bday is in a couple days, been planning the bash. Looks like 35-40 people, hope he doesn't get toooo overwhelmed. we shall see. he was the cutest last night in the snow machines and crowds...and squeeks has just the best personality. endless smiles and coos...that's my boy. ;) 3 months already. starting to sleep through the night. starting to roll now too, floomping around. work news -- no local management anymore. not sure how many more days of little to no company in the south bay I can stand...seems like we're all coming unglued, time'll tell. yet another 2 week notice in my group, from someone whose work I respect more than just about anyone. sighs. trying to not fixate on waiting for my own callbacks. now reporting to my old partner in crime, quite comfy. head generally level, certainly not as erratic as in weeks past. necessary? taking a whopping 3 weeks off for christmas and hitting virginia hard, very hard. good times. family, nova, tech... hell maybe even some babyless jaunts, go figure. guess this is it for now. duties call. in need of something tonight. as always. Current Mood: listless (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 23rd, 2004
1:33 pm	ahh crazy weeks. scattered focus. shattered self. good times. who'dve thought *i'd* be the one in need. so I tend to my babes and hope. time spins. i've got a dream with your face in it that scares me awake i put too much on my table and now i got too much at stake ...and you'll stop me, won't you... i gotta divide my emotions into wrong and right then i get to see how close i can get to it without giving in then i get to rub up against it till i break the skin rub up against it till i break the skin (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 25th, 2004
12:35 am	la de da little milestone -- squeeky's 1 month b'day. he's pudging out, starting to get a baby double chin, full face, big ol' belly, even his fingers are chubbing up. seems following in his brother's footsteps, the almost-two-year-old that towers over the 4 year olds. life's been particularly sweet and sour lately. kids are exhilarating and draining...work borders on the banal yet much welcome spice has been added to the pot...my mom had her first runins with the law and psych wards but will finally start a course of meds. mil$q: will she stick to them. our nifty meal service is about to end, so spoiling. been treating myself to some creature comforts before my birthday, should try to hit the beach this weekend while it's still warm. la de da. what do I want? for me? mmm, some fudge. skydiving next weekend if I could convince shan that it'll all be ok. catch the deftones this monday @ the regency up in the city, get banged up in the pit. for the kids? ben's heart's hole to close. zack's atheletes foot to finally heal. for shan? sanity during the endless days my god it's tough on her. my buds? satisfaction. and 'I've never feared consequences, hate regrets more than apologies.' is ringing in my mind. see you all at okie dogs..... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 19th, 2004
2:55 pm	sunday thoughts so -- snapshot. has been too long, old account seems like it's vanished, not that I used it much anyway. damn how time can drag and fly all at once. I lay, 1 month old ben on chest, like it's been for so much of the blur of the last few weeks. he can't be put down or he'll puke. he can't be away or he won't sleep...got to keep the boy happy, meet his needs. every 2-3 hours, 24x7. ah well. lil squeeky is still easy and his cuteness makes up for everything. can't wait for him to reach zack's 22 month old stage -- to show him the world, wrestle tirelessly, play in the sand and surf, taste everything and anything....watch him with friends, tear up the playgrounds, it's been a long journey. zack's really become the ultimate boy, his company is such a pure joy. big friendly adventurous tinkerous beautiful zack. big shoes to fill. speaking of which, he's now wearing an 8 1/2 XXXW which *no* stores carry. what to do. kids have kept me oh so busy oh so sleep deprived but calm and satiated and content. work is fine, stable flexible and consistently predictable. still have the feel like I'll be pushed into a new job after turning out the lights, if that day and some severance will ever come. it's too much effort to try and switch now. been living lately to support old friends as they grapple with emotional and consequencial shitstorms...and am reveling in the discovery of new friends, forever drawn. ah things will be back to normal soon. it poured for the first time today ... it's been months. feels like fall's onset in the mornings. somewhat refreshing, but I dread the short days and stretches of rain. shan's friends have lined up for the next couple weeks delivering free nightly meals for this busy house -- major score. I could *so* get used to this. how can you possibly cook with all that's going on ... welcome break from perpetual takeout. i must be early thirties...a minivan's practicality is inviting. oh-my-god. there's nothing but teenagers on lj these days, or is how that's always been. am leaning on espresso more than usual to quell irritable sloggishness, oh to sleep a full night again. it *will* come. sooo tired. for some reason I feel like expressing in big words but there's this dull ache that keeps me from thinking straight. birthday's coming up fast. now out of the center of attention more than ever, but it's not bad. young thoughts...hell I still get ID'ed, life's fiiine. I haven't done these in a while... Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||||| 46% Schizoid |||||| 30% Schizotypal |||||||||||| 42% Antisocial |||||||||||||| 54% Borderline |||| 18% Histrionic |||||||||||| 50% Narcissistic |||||||||||||||| 70% Avoidant |||||| 22% Dependent |||||| 30% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||| 30% Take Free Personality Disorder Test personality tests by similarminds.com Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results Warmth |||||||||||||||||| 58% Intellect ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Emotional Stability |||||||||||||||||| 58% Aggressiveness |||||||||||||||||| 54% Liveliness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Dutifulness ||||||||||||||| 50% Social Assertiveness |||||||||||||||||| 54% Sensitivity |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Paranoia ||||||||| 30% Abstractness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Introversion ||||||||| 30% Anxiety |||||||||||||||||| 54% Openmindedness |||||||||||||||||| 58% Independence |||||||||||| 34% Perfectionism ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Tension ||||||||| 30% Take Free 16pf based Personality Test personality tests by similarminds.com Current Mood: contemplative (1 Comment |Comment on this)